im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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