they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
