I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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