dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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