I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
