Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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