He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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