So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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