took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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