If i come over, it means nothing
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
