she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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