That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
