I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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