The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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