Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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