Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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