That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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