my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.