then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...