waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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