She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
