i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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