did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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