she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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