i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
