OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
