hell yes lets make some ravioli
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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