come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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