I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just want nice things and good sex
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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