The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize