Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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