I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
