If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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