I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
