OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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