you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
