Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
