I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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