So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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