i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
