I love having hate sex.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize