I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
