My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Alive.
So much puke
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
