I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
