you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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