My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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