I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
