I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
