I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
