Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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