sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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