She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
