so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize