What a fucking waste of an outfit
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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